By Dr James Dobson.
"No, you can't go out.
No, you can't have a cookie.
No, you can't use the telephone.
And no, you can't go to Susie's house!"
No, no, no, no.
How many times each day do we use that small, but powerful word with our children?
As parents we could say "yes" to most routine requests made by our kids. But we often choose, almost automatically, to respond in the negative.
Why?
1) Because we don't want to take the time to stop and think about the consequences;
2) because the activity could cause us more work or physical effort;
3) because there might be danger in the request; and
4) because we know our children ask a thousand favours every day and it's just
more convenient to refuse them all.
It's true that every child needs to be acquainted with denial of some of his more extravagant wishes, but we must not fall into the habit of turning down reasonable requests from our kids. There are just so many "no's" in life, that we should say "yes" whenever we can.
And it's good to ask ourselves every once in a while:
1) How do my children view me?
2) As an oppressive judge and jury?
3) As a demanding boss?
4) Or do they think of me as a loving parent, who is, above all else, fair and just in our daily
interaction?
One way to build a healthy relationship is to say "yes" unless there is a very good reason to do otherwise.
