Raihanah My Little Princess a.k.a. Little Mermaid

Isn't she cute? The apple of my eyes and the colours of my life. A bundle of joys and a wealth of loves.

My Daughter

7th May 1988 a date to be remembered for the rest of my life. A date that is most significant than my date of birth or my solemnization date or whatever dates that come to my mind.
“Abang! Awara dah nak bersalin, dah kuar darah”
That was about 2.00am 28th April 1988.
“Boleh naik motor tak?’ my hubby suggested.
‘Eh..! maner boleh, kalau bersalin macam maner?’ I resented.
I called for taxi, and I was asked to wait at void deck, and to take whichever taxi that arrived Block 103 #10-436 Bedok Reservoir Road, Singapore 460103.
‘To KK hospital, uncle’
We reached KK within minutes, as the roads were deserted.
I was whisked to a registration counter, as I was not in the emergency state. Hahaha got to fill in form first, ok.

I was whisked to the labour ward and bid farewell to my hubby with mixed feeling which I am unable to describe, whether it is sad or happy. Only God knows that feeling and I am sure all mothers will go through such a state as I am. Will I be able to see him (my hubby) or my baby or the world? I patrah to Allah for He who knows the future of his followers.

A doctor; I think a Houseman, did a check up and told me that my cervix is not open yet.
“Good morning! You seemed relax’ Dr Mariama George came in the morning with her cheerful smile. Oh oh, once again, she did a checkup and confirmed my cervix is not open yet.
‘Well, you have to be transferred to the normal ward, as your cervix is yet to open, and we will monitor you’
Zooomm…. I was sent to the normal ward to wait.
Subhan came everyday after work and went home after breaking fast as it was the end of Ramadhan. Nobody visited me, not even my mother. Does not she care for me? Don’t she felt the same mixed feeling when she was about to give birth? Whatever it is, she is still my mother. My waiting days are over when finally my mother father came to visit me. I was already in pain due to contraction every ten minutes and bleeding. According to the nurse, it will take a long time to give birth as this is my first birth.
6th May 1988, the day Dr Mariama George decided to induce my birth due to bleeding and I am already overdue. My estimated due date was on 1st May 1988. Dr Mariama insereted a pill into my vagina to force open the cervix. It was inserted after afternoon tea at 4.00pm. After that time no food was allowed as I need to be prepared to deliver the next morning. I was wheeled to the labour ward and to wait for my delivery that very day. Waiting, waiting and continue to wait. I lost touch of time, as the clock in my ward was on the other side of bed and my view was blocked.

I kept having contractions which is bearable when I heard a mother-to-be was wheeled into the ward on the outer side of the bed.
‘Push, push, push’ that was what I heard and suddenly…. Silence….followed by cracking sound of baby’s cries.
‘Wow….that easy to give birth’ that was what I told myself and made me prepared and looked forward for the moment.

Oh oh…my contractions has becomes unbearable and I asked to see Dr Mariama. She came and I told her that I prefer to go for caesarian. ‘No no’ she said and ordered oxygen tank to be in my ward. I was asked to inhale the oxygen and deep as possible and I will not feel the contractions which put me to sleep with the oxygen mask. Suddenly I was awake that I felt I urinated while sleeping. Dr Mariama was there and she told me it is ok, as it was my water bag burst. Suddenly I felt like shiting and she told me go ahead. But nothing came out!
I pushed and pushed………..’You are a lousy pusher, Awara’ said Dr Mariama.
‘I did push!’ I retaliated.
‘You are not pushing the right way; you are pushing on the top where your face turned red and not pushing the bottom’
‘Come on, push as if you are about to shit’
‘I did!’
“Push! Awara you have to push very hard, as your baby is already berak, and it will be dangerous for you” hahaha that is what my gynecologist Dr Mariama George. I knew she is only threatening me to push harder. I do not blamed her, as that was the tactic to motivate you to push. I came to know about such tactic was when I such ‘Your baby already berak”. Anyway, it if is dangerous for me, she would be hell of panic instead of continuing to coax me to push harder.

I was quite sometime I still unable to deliver. I was asked to sign an agreement form for caesarian and I was wheeled to the operation theater. On my way there, I really felt something is about to come out of me, I pushed and pushed but nothing.

In the operation theater, I dared not look around it, as I was terribly scared to look and I just shut my eyes only looking upward to the thousand lights in the theater.
‘ok, let give a last chance, you must push very very hard’
A nurse was standing on my head and trying to console me to relax.
Two nurses on my side, trying to push my baby downward. They were trying to help me while I pushed and pushed and pushed.
Dr Mariama did a forcep (like a thong like instrument inserted to my vagina, to grab the baby’s head and assist in the pushing by pulling the baby down.
I thanked God for His miracle that He gave me, by sending someone to help me in giving birth. Nurses and doctor who had assisted in my delivery. The feeling was the best feeling every mother felt, a feeling that I was unable to describe and a feeling that only mothers can feel. 7.24am 7th May 1988 /20hb Ramadhan 1408 I was declared a MOTHER!!!
My daughter was born on the last week of Ramadhan and may she bring happiness to the family, to her religion, country and herself.
Thank you Allah for the gift that you gave me, and I promised to be the best mother a mother can be and to look after your amanah here and after, Insyallah, Amin.
‘It is a girl’ a nurse told me showing my baby’s private part. But I was not able to see or focus as I was dreadfully exhausted and my whole body was shaking uncontrollably. At the same time, I was alarmed as I have yet to hear my baby’s cries.
‘Oh Allah, I prayed to you that no harm befall on my baby’
Suddenly a very weak soft baby’s cries came…. ‘Alhamdullillah’
After stitching, I was wheeled to the labour ward again, as they need to observe me for any complications.
It was around 1.00pm that I managed to see my new born daughter. A sad thing to happen when the whole family got to see her first where I was the last person to see her.

13th July 2006

Today is a day that will never ever going to be out of my memory.............. i made a drastic mistake for not understanding my daughter's plight. I jumped into conclusion without finding out the situation or dilemma she is in. What kind of a mother am i? Shameful of me to acknowledged a title given by my daughter 'The Best Mom'. Oh God! please guide me to be one of the best mom here and after to my most beloved daughter, Amin.

Sorry, not my job!

What a day today…. Sometimes I wonder why someone who is happy to have a job and to receive salary by the end each month, BUT when they have to carry out the assigned work, hell of grumbles will be tumbling out from their mouth till saliva ran dry, no joke, believe me! When they are jobless, I am very definite that they will be very very grateful to have a job but when they have the job…..sorry, that is not my job, I am here just to do this ONLY!! What a person!

What 'Blue Monday'??

Okayyyy…. a new week is born, another five working days to go. To my surprise, the day passed without me noticing it. You know what? I enjoyed the day, and who says Blue Monday? Everyday will be a Blue Day even on your happiest day if you look negatively in life. Why must you let whatever happened affect our precious life? Isn’t it a waste of a space in our already congested mind? To be worried and cared for but never to let it influence our daily routine.

Anna's Design

25th June, 2006

Cuti sekolah! Hari yang bebas dari segala macam buku! Aku masih ingat ketika tu umur aku baru 10 tahun. Kami tiga beradik berjalan kaki menuju ke rumah Pak Ngah Apit di Canberra Road. Hari ketika itu panas perit tetapi aku berjalan dengan bangga nya bersama abang-abang ku dengan baju baru ku yang dijahit oleh Emak. Masih terbayang keadaan ketika itu, sehingga kini aku abadikan di dalam ingatan. Boleh tahan, abang Manaf pandai membawa adik-adik nya berjalan jauh, dari Onreat Road ke Canberra Road naik bas pulak tu.

My Brother

Waktu rehat di sekolah (Whitley Primary School) pada hari itu, aku terserempak abg Yusof lagi sibuk makan mee rebus. Di dalam hati ku berkata, ‘wah! terror sey abg Yusof ada duit nak beli mee rebus’ Untuk ku ketika tu, sesiapa yang makan mee rebus ada lah dari golongan orang2 kaya. Setiap hari aku akan mendapat 10 sen utk ke sekolah yang di mana 5 sen akan ku simpan dalam tabung without fail everyday. Pada hari itu aku bertuah kerana dapat merasa mee rebus tersebut. Abg Yusof menghulur pingan yang berisi mee rebus yang sedang di makan nya pada ku. Apa lagi, aku bedal!! Hehehe sekarang baru aku tahu dari mana abg Yusof mampu membeli mee rebus, rupa rupanya dia kebas duit tabung aku!! Patut lah bapa ku hairan kenapa tabung aku tak penuh2 walaupun aku isi setiap hari without fail. Setelah di soal siasat oleh bapa ku, abg yusof berjanji akan membayar nya balik. Tetapi aku dah halalkan semua nya, kerana yang ambil ada lah abg kandung ku juga, tidak pernah terlintas di hati ku ketika itu utk menuntut kembali duit aku.

Ten cents

Didalam perjalanan pulang, bersama teman sedarjah ku (dah lupa lah nama beliau) beliau membeli gula ala lollipop yang dimana dalam ya kalau yang bernasib baik ada duit 5 sen atau 10 sen. Gula2 tersebut berharga 5 sen. Setelah dibuka sampul gula tersebut, didapati di dalam gula2 tersebut ada 10 sen. (gula2 tersebut berwarna coklat cerah). Aku berkata pada beliau, ‘can give me the money ok?’ beliau tidak menjawab tapi aku betul2 mengharapkan agar beliau memberi duit tersebut. Aku ikut dia berjalan sehingga sampai kerumah nya (kampong Nekad). Beliau tidak mengeluarkan gula2 tersebut dari mulut nya. Aku pulang dengan hati yang hampa.

223rd June, 2006
Hooray!! today is the end of the week... have tonnes of work to do. Look forward for next week, a new term!

22nd June, 2006

Saperti biasa, pulang ajer dari sekolah, aku tak duduk diam di rumah. Pada hari itu saperti biasa aku akan membontot abang-abang ku menyerantau keliling PTS (Police Training School a.k.a. Depo yang selalu mak aku sebut) Aku bersama abg Yusof berjalan tanpa arah tujuan sehingga kami terjumpa sawdust. Sangking gembira terjumpa sawdust, macam terjumpa harta karun! Apa lagi, aku dan abg Yusof bawa pulang sawdust macam Ali Baba bawa pulang harta. Dah bawa balik, habis cerita lah, tak tahu apa kegunaan nya, kecuali kena hamput dengan mak aku ada lah, badan kotor bolor macam ayam masuk longkang.....hehehe tapi aku gembira, esok kami buat lagi sehingga hari terakhir cuti sekolah.....baru kelam kabut cari beg yang tidak disentoh selama percutian. BEST!!

Awara Mohd Taib

This is me.....hahaha wonder what was i thinking
about at that moment... ;-)

My Brother

21st June, 2006
Hari itu ada lah hari perayaan di sekolah. Sehingga kini tak aku tahu apa kah tujuan perayaan tersebut. Yang pasti aku tahu, pada hari itu, kesemua kanak-kanak murid di sekolah akan dijamu dengan sepotong kek dan secawan air milo “Wow sedap nya!” Seperti tahun-tahun lepas, aku akan minum air milo tetapi kek akan ku simpan bawa pulang. Akan aku bawa pulang buat emak ku yang tersayang. Rasa nya tak tertelan akan benda yang sedap-sedap jika emak aku tidak dapat merasai nya bersama. Aku simpan kek tersebut dengan hati2 agar tidak terpeyek terkena buku. Biar buku ku comot, asalkan kek aku tidak peyek. Sesampai di rumah, emak aku tak ada, jadi aku simpan kek tu di dalam peti sejuk. Aku tunggu emak ku sehingga petang, masih juga belum pulang. Aku buka peti sejuk utk melihat kek yang aku bawa pulang tadi.
“Arrgghh!! kek dah takde?” “Saper makan awa nya kek?” teriak ku sambil bercucuran air mata.
Abg manaf tersenyum “Kek tu adik awa punya eh? Abg manaf dah makan” Aku apa lagi…..meraung dan merenggek kesedihan, kek kesayangan aku dah kena makan! Aku minta balik kek tu.
“Awa nak kek tu balik!” teriak ku. Aku menangis kesedihan yang mak aku tak dapat merasa kek itu.
“Ok nanti abg manaf beli lah” pujuk abg ku.
“Tak nak! Awa nak yang sama jugak!”
Abg ku menghilang kan diri utk beberapa ketika.
“Nah! Abg manaf dah ganti” abg ku memberi aku kek yang serupa saperti yang telah dimakan nya. Aku tersenyum puas dapat balik kek kesayangan ku. Aku simpan di dalam peti sejuk sambil menunggu kepulangan emak ku.
Setiba nya emak pulang, aku pun dengan rasa bangga dan penuh kegembiraan memberi kek tersebut buat emak.
‘Mak, kek’ sambil memberi kek tersebut pada emak aku.
“Kek awa bawa dari sekolah, abg manaf dah makan” aku mengadu pada emak ku.
“Habis kek ni dari mana?” Tanya emak ku.
‘Abg manaf gi beli baru’
‘lah… kalau dah makan tu dah lah, kenapa nak buang duit beli lagi?” marah emak ku.
“Habis mak belum makan” aku membela diri ku.
Sehingga kini tidak ku tau dari mana abg manaf mendapat duit membeli kek tu lagi, atau dari mana dia membeli nya. Itu lah abg ku yang ku sayangi sehingga akhir hayat ku.

"Arrghhh…!! Sakit sakit…!!" Tersentak aku mendengar tangisan suara yang agak aku kenal. Aku toleh ke belakang, untuk mendapatkan kepastian, tetapi tidak kelihatan.
"Duduk bawah meja!” teriak ustaz Daud. Masih kedengaran isakkan, dan di dalam hati kecil ku…..
"Adik Awa!" tersentak aku dari lamunan.
"Mari balik!" teriak abang Yusof. Aku yang bagai di pukau, dengan segera menyimpan buku arab dan bahan tulisan ku . Aku ikut saja abg Yusof dan di ikuti abg Manaf ku yang menangis terisak-isak. Sah! Sangkaan ku yang meneriak kesakitan tadi ada lah abg Long ku, abg Manaf. Kami tiga beradik tidak berkata di sepanjang perjalanan pulang. Sampai saja di kawasan rumah ku, aku dapati bapa ku lagi sibuk membetulkan tayer basikal nya. Itu lah basikal yang membawa bapa ku ulang alik kerja dengan tidak menhiraukan keadaan cuaca hujan atau panas. Itu lah basikal sumber pencermatan belanja bapa ku.
Dengan bangga nya kami tiga beradik menuju ke arah bapa ku.
"Kenapa balik siang?"
"Ustaz tekan2 kepala abg Manaf masuk bawah meja” jelas abg Yusof.
"Habis tu kenapa balik?"
Kami terdiam…… tetapi di dalam hati ku berkata, mana boleh ustaz Daud menyakitkan abg Manaf, ustaz Daud tak tahu ke yang kepala abg Manaf ada bisol… kami tak rela jika ada org yang menyakitkan salah seorang dari kami.
Begitu lah semangat kami tiga beradik, saling membela satu sama lain. Sehingga kini, aku bangga mempunyai abg Manaf dan abg Yusof sebagai abang abang ku.

threejellyfish

20th June, 2006 (Tuesday)
Hooray!! i managed to create my own blog, hahaha what's the big deal? Yes!! it is a big deal to me, cos i, Awara, treasured however small is my achievement and be optimistic in life.

My Little Mermaid 18th Birthday

Our beloved 18th birthday!